6 years ago I contracted HIV. I wouldn't know for another 10 months when I got my diagnosis. I had already went through all the emotional stuff with the Daddy who had accidentally given it to me when he got his diagnosis 2 weeks before I did. When I got my diagnosis I made a decision that i was not going to let HIV defeat me. I was going to fight it with every ounce of energy that I had. At that time, to me, going on meds was letting the disease defeat me. I started taking better care of my health, eating right and cutting back on my stress levels. Except for a few time when sickness weakened me enough to shot my Viral load up to 10,000 and 16,000 I have done pretty good at keeping my Viral load around 4000 and my TCells around 450. Last time I went to my Dr he was telling me that with my viral load at 350 I might want to consider meds as the experts were suggesting 350 as the cut off point of not taking meds. 200 is when you become full blown AIDS. So for the last 3.5 months I have been dealing with a deamon. If I started taking meds I would be taking them for life. The disease was defeating me. BUT You gotta love leather family. They stepped in and talked with me Master P and Daddy S being supportive and listening to me. Encouraging me to do what is right for me. Big Brother, His Husbear and his boy helping me understand that the disease is not defeating me I just need a little help in my fight against it. Daddy Luke and my other Daddies telling me "we want you around for a long time so if taking meds is what is going to keep you around you had better start taking them."
Today I want to see my Dr. My Viral load was 4240 and my TCells had gone up to 406 not bad but not real good either. With talking to my Dr. we started a med regimen. My Dr was very understanding of my concerns and he was ready to go along with me if I said no to meds. I am still processing my emotions and thought processes. But I have started a new phase in my fight. I go back to the DR in 6 weeks to see how I am progressing.